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Saturday, February 6, 2010

The Wanted Veer's London Dreams

Omnipresent! A word that can easily be linked with the so-called brat of Bollywood and the original machoman of India, Salman Khan. From ads to national songs, North India to South India, with chiks to saree-clad woman, Salman seems to be rediscovering himself for the new decade. Watching his recent films leaves one sympathetic to one of India's most admired(erstwhile) stars. None wanted him to be 'Wanted' and aam-junta had a sigh of relief after wives of theatre-owners saw to it that their husbands divorced 'Mr n Mrs Khanna' to sustain their livelihood. And what happens when Chatur Ramalingam turns creative? Yeah,rightly said, 'Shit happens'. Confident that there was no much audience left for him in the North, chatur Sallu dubbed his iconic disaster 'Veer' into Telugu and vowed that it would be another Magadheera(the Telugu movie that threatened to topple Ghajini as the top-grossing Indian movie ever before 3 Idiots broke everything available). What happened is best not spoken of and being from Andhra, I am too embarrassed to even say the word 'Veer' after watching it(yeah...I am part of the disaster-chasing fanatics).

Having lost ground to other stars of his age and even much younger ones over the years, Sallu now has other issues in his agenda apart from what he once was popularly known for and capable of, being mainstream cinema(Hopefully sporting the 420 black-n-white stripped shirt again doesn't figure in it). Having been thrashed up by guards while trying to gatecrash into the Kingfisher calender's release he made sure he appeared at something similar and took great pride in releasing Kalamandir's(a chain of saree-shopping malls in South) "Kalasutra" calender.Our sources claim he misread Kalasutra for something else and rushed to volunteer himself for the event[:P]. Allegations that Kalamandir group has one of their founders amongst the censor-board of India and Sallu bhai obliged to this offer to see a smooth flow at the board for his Veer(the board must have rated it U/F aka Un-Fit which pushed him to take up this 'mutual-benefit' offer).
Giving life to his long-lost off-ground battle with SRK, Sallu is now eying to fight on-ground with the Badshaah by bidding for an IPL team. He right now is trying to convince his sponsors to sport their logos on the player's trousers, as the playing 11 would be bare chested(tattoos would be a lot cool). He has named his team 'BareChester United' and currently shooting for the team's promo song, 'Dare the Bares'[:P]
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9 comments:

Parimal said...

lovely IPL pic man :)
-pd

PostMan said...

thanks PD bhai....we shall go with 'Bhopal Barechesters' :P

Revanth said...

Nice ra ... IPL pic and the team name suggested by you is funny ... :D

PostMan said...

@Revanth....Thanks mama...I was wondering who could have visited my blog from Japan. I get it now :P

Mayank Agarwal said...

waoh... the last para was really hilarious ! good one KT! :D

Bobinky said...

Good writeup boss! You blended sarcasm and humour well. The bare chested players you mentioned about, reminds me of all the monkey men in Ramayana with gadha on their shoulders in the battle field. :P

PostMan said...

@Mayank...thanks dude..why not name them BareDusts :P

@Bobinky...thanks :)...LOL what an analogy...in a lighter vein let me add to it...if the team are the 'vaanaras', Salman has to be Ram :P...and we can have Arbaaz and Sohail Khan play Laxman and Bharata too :D

Matangi Mawley said...

:D damn well written!! kudos!

Snehit Vemulapati said...

Dude, you dared to watch Veer? Can we have a national award for the most daring viewer? Guess what ra... i ve never watched a Sallu movie on a big screen..